Lent does not arrive with fanfare or confetti like other feasts in the year do. It does not come with costumes, candy or countdown calendars filled with chocolate. It arrives quietly, traced in ash, in repentance, and anchored in 40 deliberate days that feel almost stubborn in their simplicity.

And if you are raising children, you know the competition is fierce. Our cultural calendar is loud and relentless. There is always another themed day at school, another holiday marketed in neon and another celebration promising instant delight. Meanwhile, Lent asks us to fast, to be humble and pray, to give something up and to wait. At first glance this can feel like we are offering our kids the black-and-white version of life in a full-colour world.

But Catholic parents are not called to compete with spectacle. We are called to form souls.

Advertisement

Children do not need Lent to be flashy, they just need it to be real every year.

The first step is to explain Lent plainly. Jesus went into the desert. He chose hunger, He chose prayer and He chose obedience over comfort, not because suffering is glamorous, but because true love is sacrificial. Children understand sacrifice in a very basic but tangible way. They understand choosing not to eat the last cookie for a sibling and they understand apologizing when pride says, “Don’t.” Granted, it takes teaching and modeling on our part as parents, but the instinct to be kind and loving is there. 

Therefore, instead of vague resolutions, make the tangible love that accompanies Lent concrete at home. Create a visible prayer space where you can light a candle during evening prayer. Or keep a small bowl where family members place written intentions to pray for others. 

If they give something up, help them understand why by explaining “We’re giving up this treat, so we be like Jesus who gave up so much for us and we can remember that God is our greatest joy.” Simple, direct and no theatrics required. 

Moreover, children will only take Lent seriously if we do. If we complain about fasting, if we treat it as a gloomy interruption to our routines, they will absorb that. If we quietly embrace it, without sour faces, but with steady conviction, they will notice that too. Formation happens in tone as much as in teaching.

There is also wisdom in reclaiming beauty. The Church’s seasons are not dull; they are rich with symbolism. You can add that symbolism of sacred tradition into your home too by applying things like a purple cloth on the table, involve them in preparing meatless meals on Fridays that feel intentional and fun, rather than begrudging. Include them in the ritual, for ritual tells children something important is happening.

And yes, there will be tension with secular celebrations. Seasonal treats leading to Easter, for example, are marketed relentlessly. There are often cultural moments that emphasize indulgence just as the Church is calling for restraint.

Advertisement

We do not need to react with fear or isolation; we just need to be consistent with what we grant importance and reverence to. 

It is possible to let children attend a birthday party on a Lenten Friday and still teach them age-appropriate self-denial. And it is possible to enjoy cultural festivities without surrendering the primacy of faith. Fun is not forbidden; it is simply about the fact that some celebrations are about entertainment, and some are about eternity. One is not evil; they are simply not equal.

When children see that Easter morning follows Good Friday and that joy follows sacrifice, they begin to grasp something countercultural and deeply human: pleasure is sweeter when it is preceded by discipline. 

Resurrection only makes sense if we have walked through the Cross.

Practically, this also means keeping Easter radiant by discussing what it is about, by decorating and by being joyful. Let children feel that the Church’s joy is deeper than sugar highs and novelty décor. 

Another strategy is service. Almsgiving becomes real when children participate. Choose a family cause and contribute to it together. Have the kids donate toys they have outgrown or keep it as simple as having the kids be the ones to contribute to the offertory during Mass. Let them feel the joy of generosity in a culture that constantly says, “more for me, less for you.” That lesson alone shapes a soul for life.

Also, be ready for eyerolls, forgotten resolutions by week two and arguments over what “counts” as a sacrifice. This is not failure; this is simply the process of formation. Growth is rarely cinematic, but consistency and patience are great teachers.

The deeper aim is not perfect Lenten performance, rather it is cementing the understanding that when Christ calls us to conversion, our family responds.

In a confetti world, Lent will always look less enticing, but children raised to understand its meaning grow into adults who are not easily dazzled or manipulated by spectacle. They learn that silence has weight and that restraint builds strength. 

Advertisement

That joy rooted in Christ outlasts every seasonal trend.

(Santos is a writer in Toronto.)